Obsessive Compulsive Star Wars
by JediYvette
Summary: Star Wars characters 'suffer' from their obsessions


Obsessive Compulsive Star Wars  
  
Disclaimer: I still do not own Star Wars.   
Note: I have no life!!!  
  
Yoda was running around the Jedi Council building yelling, "Find I cannot my portable Walkman. Jam to the Oldies I must!!!" Yoda ran from room to room of the entire building, but could not find his Walkman. That was when he started hyperventilating. Soon he passed out, and was sprawled on the floor of the main Jedi council room. Luckily, there was not a meeting that day.  
The same day, not too far away, Darth Maul was racing to the local ewok ran drug store, to pick up Darth Sidious another thing of Chap Stick. Sidious just before ran his third Chap Stick through the laundry that week. With all the money Sidious spend on new Chap Sticks every month he could have bought that Van Gogh painting Darth Maul saw at the Intergalactic Art Festival. While on his way to the store, Darth Maul reached in his pocket for a granola bar. Unfortunately, he ate his last one 20 minutes before. "NO!" he screamed.  
Yoda woke up dazed several hours later. After a few minutes, he remembered that his Walkman was missing. Quickly he jumped off the ground, and ran to go find the Jedi Lackeys (umm...I mean Padawan). They'd help him. They had to. If they didn't he had the power to take away the cable access to their dorms. After gathering up about 15 dozen Padawan, Yoda replied, "Missing the 12 hour Tribute to Neil Diamond I am. Only 8 hours left there is. Bring my Walkman to me before then you must, or taken out your Little Debbie Snack machine will." With that, the Padawan all ran insanely in different directions.  
Darth Maul ran into the EwoK-Mart, and grabbed a handful of chap sticks, and 45 boxes of granola bars. "This should last me an hour or two," Darth Maul thought. Eventually, after eating a box and a half of granola bars, he made it back, and handed Sidious a Chap Stick. Sidious was overjoyed, to the point of almost crying. It was bad. Darth Maul left with all his granola bars, and went to go watch Scooby Doo.  
"Can I help you look for your Walkman?" asked Qui-Gon. Yoda was under the cafeteria table, all dust covered, searching desperately for his Walkman. "YES!" Yoda shrieked, "Get your lazy Padawan, you will too. Help he must." Just then, Obi-Wan walked in, but before anyone could say anything, he reached down, and polished his shoes. "Dirt spot," he commented. "Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied, "You have polished those shoes 11 times today. I think they are polished enough." Obi-Wan stared at his master, "But they keep getting dirty. I must make them clean." And with that, he reached down and critically inspected his shoes, and brushed off some dirt. "You know," he continued, looking at his master's shoes, "Your shoes could use a polish."  
Fifteen minutes later, Darth Sidious yelled, "Darth Maul! I can't find my Chap Stick. Where are the extras?" Turning off the TV, since Scooby Doo was over, Darth Maul slowly got up, and muttered, "He had it for 15 minutes, how could he lose it?" However, he obediently looked for and found the bag with the other Chap Sticks. "Ooooooh!" exclaimed Sidious as Darth Maul handed him another Chap Stick, "This one is Cherry flavored!"  
Qui-Gon and Yoda searched the Jedi council building, head to toe, again. By this time, Mace Windu entered the building. "Look," he replied, holding up 7 bags, "They had a sale on gel pens!" Qui-Gon and Yoda stared at Mace Windu, but before anything could be said, he continued, "I got to go and count all my gel pens." As Mace Windu stared to leave, Qui-Gon called, "Need help?"  
"Oh Snarfulpopper!" cursed Darth Maul, as he threw another box of granola bars away, "I only have 18 boxes more."  
"6,398!" exclaimed Mace Windu, as Yoda walked into the Jedi Council room. However, Mace Windu and Qui-Gon were only half way through all the bags. "Looking for my Walkman you are not! Find it you will. Missing precious Neil Diamond time I am!" With that, he left the two other Jedi Masters. "I'll help you!" Qui-Gon enthusiastically replied, and followed him. "I will, too." Mace replied, then quietly added, "When I have counted all my gel pens...twice."  
On his way back to the general store to pick up more fruit flavored Chap Stick, Darth Maul vowed never to eat another granola bar. 520 were enough. However, once he entered the store, he found out that there was a sale on the bars. "Well," he said out loud, "They aren't all chocolate chip this time," and grabbed three cases. And cherry and grape flavored Chap Stick.   
"Going to miss Neil Diamond, I am," whimpered Yoda, as he sat in his chair in the Jedi Council room. "You will not," encouraged Qui-Gon, "With me helping we are bound to find it in time." Just then, Obi-Wan entered, and said, "I can't get this shoe polish opened. Stupid lid." Before Obi-Wan could throw it across the room, Qui-Gon replied, "Here let me help you."  
Darth Maul lay in his bed with a stomachache. "Stupid granola bars," he mumbled, then turned on the TV, "Yay!" he managed to say, "Its a Scooby Movie--Scooby Doo, and the Alien Invaders!" Then he grabbed another granola bar.  
With only 3 hours left until the end of the tribute, Yoda found his Walkman. It was in a pocket of his robe. Overjoyed, he ran down every hallway singing on the top of his lungs, each remaining Neil Diamond song.   
  
May the Force be with them  



End file.
